That is my goal for the coming year. The one thing that I've always wanted to be, despite being an actress, was to be happy. Being happy meant feeling good about life. Now, why wouldn't you want that? Over the past three years it seems being happy was too good to be true. I felt like everything bad kept happening one after another and didn't give me a chance to breath.
Everyone kept telling me that being upset and grumpy was a choice. I disagreed with that because why would anyone want to feel upset and grumpy all the time? It didn't make any sense to me. After that I started thinking, If being upset and grumpy was a choice then being happy was also a choice. Why doesn't everyone just choose to be happy??
Because it's easier said than done. It was easier to feel upset which is why everyone was more upset than happy and felt justified. For me I am choosing to be happy, not for my family, my friends or my work but for me. I realized a long time ago that you need to do things for yourself and not for other people to be truly happy.
The time you'll fail is when you start making changes and goals for other people. I learned that the hard way. Ever since I was in Jr. High I was over weight (still am) and I really wanted to be skinny. I would go on diets in hopes to be skinny and have the popular kids like me and the boys to like me. The diets never worked, which is why I'm sitting here today at the age of 26 and I'm still over weight.
I realized that you can't change things about your life or body just to please other people, it won't work. In the end you have to live with the results, not them. So you need to be happy with the results and the way things are going. Today I can finally say that I'm taking charge of my life and my happiness and I'm doing it for me. I decided to go on a psychical transformation and try to get done to 120lbs by mid June.
I'm sick of feeling sad and depressed and I want to feel happy and enjoy life. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to enjoy life while on my journey of getting healthy. I also decided to stop drinking. I would go out to the bar with friends almost every Wednesday and get drunk (I'm a light weight) and I really need to stop that. I was drinking for the wrong reasons and those reasons could turn deadly.
I'm going to start eating healthy and going to the gym almost every day and drink a gallon of water a day and no sodas. I'm really determined to make this happen so I'm cutting out all soda, candies, sugary foods, fast food, everything that will pack on the pounds.
Hopefully when I go on my family vacation to California this June I will be at my target weight of 120lbs. Maybe I can get skinnier than that. ;) Gotta take things one pound at a time.
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